A New Journey Begins - I'm Gonna Be a Loser!
Most, if not all of you weren't aware that I was struggling with my weight. Well, I decided to make a journal of it.
Yesterday, April 15, 2008, after two years of research, investigation and serious prayer, I took the first step towards being a loser. A loser of weight that is.
I've read a gazillion and one stories about people who have traveled this road and most of them, if not all have struggled with being overweight their entire lives. That's not the case with me. I've only struggled with it about half my life.
When my second son, Frankie, was born and shortly after died, I began my struggle with my weight. I was on steiroids during the pregnancy and went from 118 pounds to a whopping 267 pounds in just 5 short months. Although I lost some of the weight, I was never again able to lose all of it and return to my normal size. Soooo, for the next 14 years, I struggled with thin thinking but big body syndrome. That's when your mind still sees yourself as thin until you go into a store to try on clothes and leave crying becuase you look awful. If I had a dime for every time I did that to myself, I'd be rich.
After several years, I stopped shopping for clothes and just bought whatever would cover my size. I went from a size 5 to a size 18/20. The good thing about it is that I NEVER EVER EVER got used to it! I hated it from day one.
I've tried every diet and diet pill known to man, have been on not one but TWO medically supervised diets which failed miserably, just like the rest and then I finally decided that I had enough. I have a couple of reasons for wanting to do this. First, I am a ticking time-bomb health wise. I have a small frame and wasn't meant to carry an extra 134 pounds on these little bones, second, I have a history of heart disease and other bad things in my family and third, appearence. One would never believe that in my early twenties I used to model! yea! Go figure!
I married a man that is drop-dead gorgeous (at least I think so) and even though I shouldn't care about this and he doesn't ever say anything... I am NOT what you would expect my husband would be married to on the outside. He always tells me he loves me for all of me (WOW that's a LOT to love right now! LOL!!) But honestly, I want him to be proud of me. I am 15-years younger than Mike and he has done a FANTASTIC job of taking care of himself. Most people think he is 10-years younger than he is. I want to look good for him and for me.
So those are my reasons and yesterday I took the first step into my new future! After exhaustive research, I made an appointment with the highly reccomended Dr. Williams of Park West Surgical Weight Loss Centers in Knoxville. Mike, although he worked all night waited for me to get to Knoxville and then accompanied me to the appointment. My intentions were to have the new Lap-band proceedure done but after speaking to Dr. Williams, we realized that in my case, with 134 EXTRA pounds and a BMI of (brace yourself) 44.9 (YIKES!!) Lap-Band would be like shooting a bee-bee at a freight train.
Sooooo... I am having full gastric bypass surgery!! Dr. Williams was EXCELLENT at explaining the risks and the benefits and after Mike did his "investigation" (he's a cop, forgive him) we decided to go with the gastric bypass.
I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!! I am OFFICIALLY in the PRE-OP phase of the journey and began my THIRD medically supervised diet yesterday. If my other two diets count, I will be able to have the surgery by mid-summer. If they do not count, I will be able to have the surgery in October 2008. Either way... I am on my way to THIN!
I have read a couple dozen WLS journals online and know the first month is going to be rough. But EVERY SINGLE person said it was worth it! I know it will be too.
I hope you'll keep up with this journal, I am going to put all the details right here for all of you to read. PLEASE feel free to comment. I'd love to hear from you and I will be posting a pre-op picture (not a Glamor shot either) in a few days.
So, today I am 253 lbs and offically on the Pre-Op MS Diet. I'm on my way to be a loser.
Wish me luck!
Shell
Yesterday, April 15, 2008, after two years of research, investigation and serious prayer, I took the first step towards being a loser. A loser of weight that is.
I've read a gazillion and one stories about people who have traveled this road and most of them, if not all have struggled with being overweight their entire lives. That's not the case with me. I've only struggled with it about half my life.
When my second son, Frankie, was born and shortly after died, I began my struggle with my weight. I was on steiroids during the pregnancy and went from 118 pounds to a whopping 267 pounds in just 5 short months. Although I lost some of the weight, I was never again able to lose all of it and return to my normal size. Soooo, for the next 14 years, I struggled with thin thinking but big body syndrome. That's when your mind still sees yourself as thin until you go into a store to try on clothes and leave crying becuase you look awful. If I had a dime for every time I did that to myself, I'd be rich.
After several years, I stopped shopping for clothes and just bought whatever would cover my size. I went from a size 5 to a size 18/20. The good thing about it is that I NEVER EVER EVER got used to it! I hated it from day one.
I've tried every diet and diet pill known to man, have been on not one but TWO medically supervised diets which failed miserably, just like the rest and then I finally decided that I had enough. I have a couple of reasons for wanting to do this. First, I am a ticking time-bomb health wise. I have a small frame and wasn't meant to carry an extra 134 pounds on these little bones, second, I have a history of heart disease and other bad things in my family and third, appearence. One would never believe that in my early twenties I used to model! yea! Go figure!
I married a man that is drop-dead gorgeous (at least I think so) and even though I shouldn't care about this and he doesn't ever say anything... I am NOT what you would expect my husband would be married to on the outside. He always tells me he loves me for all of me (WOW that's a LOT to love right now! LOL!!) But honestly, I want him to be proud of me. I am 15-years younger than Mike and he has done a FANTASTIC job of taking care of himself. Most people think he is 10-years younger than he is. I want to look good for him and for me.
So those are my reasons and yesterday I took the first step into my new future! After exhaustive research, I made an appointment with the highly reccomended Dr. Williams of Park West Surgical Weight Loss Centers in Knoxville. Mike, although he worked all night waited for me to get to Knoxville and then accompanied me to the appointment. My intentions were to have the new Lap-band proceedure done but after speaking to Dr. Williams, we realized that in my case, with 134 EXTRA pounds and a BMI of (brace yourself) 44.9 (YIKES!!) Lap-Band would be like shooting a bee-bee at a freight train.
Sooooo... I am having full gastric bypass surgery!! Dr. Williams was EXCELLENT at explaining the risks and the benefits and after Mike did his "investigation" (he's a cop, forgive him) we decided to go with the gastric bypass.
I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!! I am OFFICIALLY in the PRE-OP phase of the journey and began my THIRD medically supervised diet yesterday. If my other two diets count, I will be able to have the surgery by mid-summer. If they do not count, I will be able to have the surgery in October 2008. Either way... I am on my way to THIN!
I have read a couple dozen WLS journals online and know the first month is going to be rough. But EVERY SINGLE person said it was worth it! I know it will be too.
I hope you'll keep up with this journal, I am going to put all the details right here for all of you to read. PLEASE feel free to comment. I'd love to hear from you and I will be posting a pre-op picture (not a Glamor shot either) in a few days.
So, today I am 253 lbs and offically on the Pre-Op MS Diet. I'm on my way to be a loser.
Wish me luck!
Shell
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